John R. Miles, award-winning author, keynote speaker, host of the Passion Struck podcast, and former Fortune 50 executive, joins Rodger Dean Duncan to explore one of our most fundamental human needs: knowing that we matter. Drawing from his new book, The Mattering Effect: Creating a Life of Meaning and Worth, Miles distinguishes mattering from belonging, connectedness, and purpose. Belonging means having a place; mattering goes deeper—it means feeling valued and knowing that what we contribute makes a difference.
Their conversation examines what happens when high performers become valued for their output but invisible as people, why workplaces can unintentionally teach employees to hide their struggles, and how small signals of unmattering can accumulate into burnout and disengagement. Miles explores psychological safety, self-care, reciprocity, and the hidden loneliness of dependable people, while challenging leaders to stop treating people as problems to be fixed. Instead, he argues for becoming a “gardener leader”—someone who creates the conditions in which people can grow, contribute, speak honestly, and know that their presence genuinely counts.
Go Beyond Belonging to Mattering – Giving someone a place on the team is not the same as making that person feel valued. Mattering requires both feeling valued and having meaningful opportunities to add value.
See the Person Behind the Performance – People can be indispensable to an organization while feeling invisible within it. Knowing what someone produces is different from understanding what that person may be carrying beneath the surface.
Cultivate the Environment, Don’t Fix the Person – Gardener leadership begins with the possibility that the person may not be the problem—the environment may be. Leaders create better performance by identifying and removing conditions that prevent people from growing and doing their best work.
Notice Where You Matter – Identify the places in your life where you both feel valued and have meaningful opportunities to contribute. Then consider where one side of that equation may be missing and what you can do to strengthen it.
Look Beneath the Surface – Think about someone whose competence or reliability you may take for granted. Instead of focusing on what that person does, make time to learn something about what they may be carrying outside the work others normally see.
Look at the Environment – When you or someone around you is struggling to perform, resist immediately assuming the individual needs fixing. Ask what conditions, obstacles, expectations, or missing support might be getting in the way and what you can do differently to improve the environment.
