ROK (Return On Kindness): It’s More Than Just Being Nice
Kindness is not simply a nice-to-have social trait. It’s an important ingredient in effective relationships, especially if you’re a leader.
By Rodger Dean Duncan
During decades of consulting and executive coaching, I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders. The ones who are world-class, who produce consistently great results, have some characteristics in common—smarts, a sense of vision, a deep understanding of their business, willingness to make tough decisions.
These are textbook qualities of great leadership. But one quality demonstrated by the best leaders I’ve known is seldom recognized: kindness.
Yes, kindness. Some people still seem to regard kindness as a nice-to-have-but-unnecessary personality trait. In fact, some prominent business people have been practically deified in their reputations for harsh and even barbarous treatment of others.
Finally, we have an opposing view. Business coach Jill Lublin has written The Profit of Kindness: How to Influence Others, Establish Trust, and Build Lasting Business Relationships. This is not a soft-and-cuddly treatise on good manners. It’s a guide to using kindness currency to get great results, loaded with specific examples of how and why kindness really works.
Rodger Dean Duncan: In a world of tough-minded executives, why do so many people still seem to reject the notion that it’s easier to attract flies with honey than with vinegar?
Jill Lublin: As Berny Dohrmann, founder of CEO Space International, puts it: “Competitive thought is the source of every problem in relationships.” We’ve been indoctrinated that if we don’t protect our turf, someone will invade it. Even the economy is based on competition. If you want to have more clients, sell more products or services, gain profits, you have to top any other business offering the same. Our end-goal inevitably becomes domination, monopoly.
But the same network, CEO Space International, shows us that success can also be achieved through compassion and connection. In this network are executives who might be in the same line of businesses. But instead of stabbing each other in the back, they share their struggles and, in return, hear “I have a solution for you and it will save you time and money.” Through this collaboration, these people offer better customer experience that eventually leads them to profits.
Duncan: How can a person practice kindness so it becomes an automatic, default behavior?
